Dear Bulbasaur

September 12th, 2008 by thethousandpunchstyleofmarkusbulandus
It was always you. Always. Since the first day I met you. I regret never telling you how I felt when you made it so obvious your strong feelings for me. I’m sorry I bailed on our date a few years ago. I know how much you were looking forward to it…us being together. I’m sorry I blew it. You have no idea how much I regret it. I was afraid. Afraid of how I truly felt about you. You’re my leaf-type angel. You were there for me when no one else was. You helped me learn flamethrower and helped me to become a better person. You were my everything once upon a time. But I messed it all up and even though you expressed your strong feelings for me, I held back. Never said a word. I wish I had. I wish I had taken you when I had the chance. So we could be together…build a life together…have hybrid babies and expand the pokedex.
Now you’re with Squirtle, that blue-shelled baldie. Living together. Probably going to get married to him. You’re happy, and I have to sit here with a fake smile pretending it’s alright. It’s not. It should have been me. I’m happy you found love with that bubbling bubblehead. But I’ll always love you.
No female pokemon on this planet can compare to you…

WHY ANIMALS HAVE NO RIGHTS

May 14th, 2008 by thethousandpunchstyleofmarkusbulandus


"A right, properly understood, is a claim, or potential claim,

that one party may exercise against another. The target against

whom such a claim may be registered can be a single person, a

group, a community, or (perhaps) all humankind. The content of

rights claims also varies greatly: repayment of loans,

nondiscrimination by employers, noninterference by the state, and

so on. To comprehend any genuine right fully, therefore, we must

know who holds the right, against whom it is held, and to what it

is a right.

Alternative sources of rights add complexity. Some rights are

grounded in constitution and law (e.g., the right of an accused

to trial by jury); some rights are moral but give no legal claims

(e.g., my right to your keeping the promise you gave me); and

some rights (e.g., against theft or assault) are rooted both in

morals and in law.

The differing targets, contents, and sources of rights, and their

inevitable conflict, together weave a tangled web. Notwithstanding all

such complications, this much is clear about rights in general: they

are in every case claims, or potential claims, within a community of

moral agents.  Rights arise, and can be intelligibly defended, only

among beings who actually do, or can, make moral claims against one

another. Whatever else rights may be, therefore, they are necessarily

human; their possessors are persons, human beings. [p.865]

The attributes of human beings from which this moral capability

arises have been described variously by philosophers, both

ancient and modern: the inner consciousness of a free will (Saint

Augustine); the grasp, by human reason, of the binding character

of moral law (Saint Thomas); the self-conscious participation of

human beings in an objective ethical order (Hegel); human

membership in an organic moral community (Bradley); the

development of the human self through the consciousness of other

moral selves (Mead); and the underivative, intuitive cognition of

the rightness of an action (Prichard). Most influential has been

Immanuel Kant’s emphasis on the universal human possession of a

uniquely moral will and the autonomy its use entails. Humans

confront choices that are purely moral; humans — but certainly

not dogs or mice — lay down moral laws, for others and for

themselves. Human beings are self-legislative, morally

auto-nomous [sic]. [p.865-866]

Animals (that is, nonhuman animals, the ordinary sense of that

word) lack this capacity for free moral judgment. They are not

beings of a kind capable of exercising or responding to moral

claims. Animals therefore have no rights, and they can have

none. This is the core of the argument about the alleged rights

of animals. The holders of rights must have the capacity to

comprehend rules of duty, governing all including themselves. In

applying such rules, the holders of rights must recognize

possible conflicts between what is in their own interest and what

is just. Only in a community of beings capable of

self-restricting moral judgments can the concept of a right be

correctly invoked.

Humans have such moral capabilities. They are in this sense

self-legislative, are members of communities governed by moral

rules, and do possess rights. Animals do not have such moral

capacities. They are not morally self-legislative, cannot

possibly be members of a truly moral community, and therefore

cannot possess rights. In conducting research on animal subjects,

therefore, we do not violate their rights, because they have none

to violate.

To animate life, even in its simplest forms, we give a certain

natural reverence. But the possession of rights presupposes a

moral status not attained by the vast majority of living

things. We must not infer, therefore, that a live being has,

simply in being alive, a "right" to its life. The assertion that

all animals, only because they are alive and have interests, also

possess the "right to life" is an abuse of that phrase, and

wholly without warrant.

It does not follow from this, however, that we are morally free

to do anything we please to animals. Certainly not. In our

dealings with animals, as in our dealings with other human

beings, we have obligations that do not arise from claims against

us based on rights. Rights entail obligations, but many of the

things one ought to do are in no way tied to another’s

entitlement. Rights and obligations are not reciprocals of one

another, and it is a serious mistake to suppose that they are.

…. Plainly, the grounds of our obligations to humans and to

animals are manifold and cannot be formulated simply. Some hold

that there is a general obligation to do no gratuitous harm to

sentient creatures (the principle of nonmaleficence); some hold

that there is a general obligation to do good to sentient

creatures when that is reasonably within one’s power (the

principle of beneficence). In our dealings with animals, few will

deny that we are at least obliged to act humanely — that is, to

treat them with the decency and concern that we owe, as sensitive

human beings, to other sentient creatures. To treat animals

humanely, however, is not to treat them as humans or as the

holders of rights.

A common objection, which deserves a response, may be paraphrased

as follows:

"If having rights requires being able to make moral claims, to

grasp and apply moral laws, then many humans — the

brain-damaged, the comatose, the senile — who plainly lack those

capacities must be without rights. But that is absurd. This

proves [the critic concludes] that rights do not depend on the

presence of moral capacities."

This objection fails; it mistakenly treats an essential feature of

humanity as though it were a screen for sorting humans. The capacity

for moral judgment that distinguishes humans from animals is not a

test to be administered to human beings one by one. Persons who are

unable, because of some disability, to perform the full moral

functions natural to human beings are certainly not for that reason

ejected from the moral community.  The issue is one of kind. Humans

are of such a kind that they may be the subject of experiments only

with their voluntary consent. The choices they make freely must be

respected. Animals are of such a kind that it is impossible for them,

in principle, to give or withhold voluntary consent or to make a moral

choice. What humans retain when disabled, animals have never

had. [p.866]

A second objection, also often made, may be paraphrased as

follows:

"Capacities will not succeed in distinguishing humans from the

other animals. Animals also reason; animals also communicate with

one another; animals also care passionately for their young;

animals also exhibit desires and preferences. Features of moral

relevance - rationality, interdependence, and love — are not

exhibited uniquely by human beings.  Therefore [this critic

concludes], there can be no solid moral distinction between

humans and other animals."

This criticism misses the central point. lt is not the ability to

communicate or to reason, or dependence on one another, or care

for the young, or the exhibition of preference, or any such

behavior that marks the critical divide. Analogies between human

families and those of monkeys, or between human communities and

those of wolves, and the like, are entirely beside the

point. Patterns of conduct are not at issue. Animals do indeed

exhibit remarkable behavior at times. Conditioning, fear,

instinct, and intelligence all contribute to species

survival. Membership in a community of moral agents nevertheless

remains impossible for them. Actors subject to moral judgment

must be capable of grasping the generality of an ethical premise

in a practical syllogism. Humans act immorally often enough, but

only they — never wolves or monkeys — can discern, by applying

some moral rule to the facts of a case, that a given act ought or

ought not to be performed. The moral restraints imposed by humans

on themselves are thus highly abstract and are often in conflict

with the self-interest of the agent. Communal behavior among

animals, even when most intelligent and most endearing, does not

approach autonomous morality in this fundamental sense. [p.866-867]

Genuinely moral acts have an internal as well as an external

dimension.  Thus, in law, an act can be criminal only when the

guilty deed, the actus reus, is done with a guilty mind, mens

rea. No animal can ever commit a crime; bringing animals to

criminal trial is the mark of primitive ignorance. The claims of

moral right are similarly inapplicable to them.  Does a lion have

a right to eat a baby zebra?  Does a baby zebra have a right not

to be eaten? Such questions, mistakenly invoking the concept of

right where it does not belong, do not make good sense. Those who

condemn biomedical research because it violates "animal rights"

commit the same blunder." [p. 867]

————-

Carl Cohen. "The Case for the Use of Animals in Biomedical

Research" The New England Journal of Medicine 315, no. 14

(October 2,1986): 865-69.

PIXIES IN PERIL: Inside a Fairy Factory Farm

May 12th, 2008 by thethousandpunchstyleofmarkusbulandus



What
comes to mind when you think about fairies? Most people envision
playful sprites merrily prancing around in a grassy field, napping
inside flowers, and singing songs of joy. However, according to the
latest research, nearly 96% of all fairies now live inside Fairy
Factory Farms (FFFs), where they live their short lives in misery and
suffering. The corporations responsible for FFFs use their powerful
marketing teams to warp the public perception of fairy farming, and for
the most part, they have been eerily successful.

However, anonymous sources have provided us with a rare inside look
at Fairy Factory Farms, and we would be remiss if we didn’t share this
information with the public. So how do everyone’s favorite fairy
products find their way from the fairy to the market? Allow us to take
you on a harrowing journey into the process.

BREEDING

The number of wild fairies has dropped dramatically in the past
thirty years as a result of over-poaching and destruction of habitat.
In order to ensure a constant, steady supply of fairies, most FFFs
utilize sophisticated breeding programs. Much as human slaves were bred
for favorable traits such as strength and endurance, fairies are now
ranked in a variety of categories, then bred (and often inbred) to
increase the likelihood of favorable traits.

In the wild, fairies are generally very selective about whom they
choose to reproduce with, often taking several months of searching
before finding a worthy mate. Thus, when held in captivity and caged
with unfavorable potential mates, most fairies react with fear and
violence. This is the primary cause for the 40% fatality rate in the
breeding program.

Furthermore, although the offspring of a “favorable pairing” often
do possess the traits the scientists were hoping for, they are usually
unhealthy and live short lives by fairy standards. Fairies bred for
maximum pixie dust output often become so caked with the prized dust
that their eyes and mouth are barely visible. This leads to constant
infections, which in turn leads to weekly injections of antibiotics.

THE TUMBLERS

How is pixie dust extracted? In the early days of fairy farming,
pixie dust was collected from flowers, much as bees extract pollen to
make honey. However, the small volume available through this extraction
method led to extremely high prices.

In order to ensure constant supply and low prices, today’s FFFs
collect pixie dust in a far more efficient and invasive manner. Fairies
bred for pixie dust are placed in wooden drums (about the size of a keg
of beer) called “tumblers.” The tumblers then spin on their axes to
shake free the coveted pixie dust. As the dust collects on a screen,
the fairies are battered mercilessly inside the tumbler. Most sprites
do not survive more than ten of these sessions. Those that do are given
“Grade A” status for future breeding.

THE WINGS OF INNOCENTS

Although fairy wings are not a particularly popular product in North
America, the Asian market places a very high value on them. Much like
the snake oil of yesteryear, fairy wings are claimed to be cures for a
variety of ailments, including impotence, baldness, and even dysentery.

In order to meet this high demand, fairies imprisoned in FFFs are
subjected to a rigorous “clipping” schedule. Since most varieties of
fairies are able to regenerate their body parts, the average sprite is
able to re-grow clipped wings every week. At which point they are
clipped again.

The clipping process is not as non-intrusive as it may sound. In
order to guarantee the largest possible volume, wings are actually
yanked out by the root by trained workers. Whole wings are packaged for
sale, while torn or damaged wings are ground into a powder to be sold
at a reduced cost.

Fairies housed in the clipping shed are subjected to constant abuse
as the vicious cycle of clipping and regenerating wings continues until
the beings die from exhaustion or blood loss. Many clipping workers
wear earplugs, presumably so that the screams of the fairies do not
haunt their dreams.

WHAT YOU CAN DO

FFFs, like all companies, rely on consumer demand to keep their
business afloat. By boycotting products originating from FFFs, you can
help drive them out of business. If you do need to purchase a
fairy-derived good, be sure to look for the Fairy Friendly® symbol on
the package. While more expensive, these goods are acquired through
non-intrusive means.

Remember, only you can help prevent unnecessary fairy deaths.

So…

May 12th, 2008 by thethousandpunchstyleofmarkusbulandus

Here we are, born to be kings,
We’re the princes of the universe.

Here we belong, fighting to survive
In a world with the darkest powers.

And here we are, we’re the princes of the universe
Here we belong, fighting for survival
We’ve come to be the rulers of your world.

I am immortal, I have inside me blood of kings.
I have no rival, no man can be my equal
Take me to the future of your world.

M&M Duel

March 19th, 2008 by thethousandpunchstyleofmarkusbulandus

Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to
continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this
end, I hold M&M duels.

Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply
pressure, squeezing them together until one of them breaks and
splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately.
The winner gets to go another round.

I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are
tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have
hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in
the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and
snack-food world.

Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen,
or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to
be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra
strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its
environment.

When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M,
the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one
as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A
Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with
a 3×5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes."

This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for
a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money."
I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of
hundreds, we will discover the True Champion.

There can be only one.

DEATH or GLORY!

March 18th, 2008 by thethousandpunchstyleofmarkusbulandus

"I was not
made for the dreariness of everyday. I was made to participate in grand
displays of the triumph of the human spirit. I REFUSE to merely exist.
I REFUSE to be brought down by forces unseen. DEATH or GLORY!
"

PENALOSA-VORAPIN TICKETS GO ON SALE!

March 11th, 2008 by thethousandpunchstyleofmarkusbulandus

 

  

Tickets
to the much-awaited title defense of WBO bantamweight champion Gerry
Penalosa against Ratanachai Vorapin go on sale starting on Thursday at
all Ticketnet outlets in all SM branches and at the Araneta Coliseum
box office.

Penalosa will defend his title for the first time against the
durable Vorapin, himself a former holder of the belt now owned by
Penalosa, on April 6 at the historic Big Dome.

The event, presented by Golden Boy Promotions, ABS-CBN and ALA Gym,
will showcase four championship battles topped by the Penalosa-Vorapin
world title duel.

In the chief support, WBO Intercontinental superbantam champion Rey
‘Boom Boom’ Bautista defends his strap against the gutsy Mexican Genaro
Camargo over 12 rounds.

Another scorcher takes place when the undefeated AJ ‘Bazooka’ Banal
figures in a 12-round IBF superfly eliminator against unbeaten
Uruguayan Caril Herrera in what appears to be a Fight of the Year
candidate.

Another unbeaten fighter, WBO Oriental and Asia Pacific
superbantamweight titlist Ciso ‘Kid Terrible’ Morales will defend his
titles against South Korea’s Yoo-Shin Kim.

First bout starts at 8AM on April 6, with the veteran Bert Batawang
taking on Indonesia’s Heri Amol. Also set to see action is RP bantam
champ Michael Domingo, who will face Thailand’s Thepnimit Sor
Chitpattana.

Ticket prices: Patron P3,500; Lower Box P2,000; Upper Box A P1,000; Upper Box B P500; and General Admission P200.

Join me on Multiply

February 22nd, 2008 by thethousandpunchstyleofmarkusbulandus

Join Markus on Multiply

Round 1

February 22nd, 2008 by thethousandpunchstyleofmarkusbulandus

    Peace is a lie, there is only passion.
    Through passion, I gain strength.
    Through strength, I gain power.
    Through power, I gain victory.
    Through victory, my chains are broken.
    The Force shall free me.

Season 28 Episode 1

February 22nd, 2008 by thethousandpunchstyleofmarkusbulandus


I’m Back..
854635635l_1

…And the story continues.